Ok, I guess now might be a good time to explain this catastrophe to you guys. Ok, so in the beginning of the book, Kylas (the humanoid 'alien') and some of his Anarian rebel followers are fighting some androids. Phillip and his ship show up in time to help and the androids are destroyed. Phillip takes Kylas captive in order to inquire about the planet, but Kylas (who doesn't understand English) has to put on this comunication device that translates everything he says into English, and everything Phillip (or anyone else) says into Anarian. That little device is what causes all of this trouble.... Here is the scene where he first puts on the device.

___________________________

Suddenly, the metal door disappeared into the ceiling, and two men walked into the room: Phillip and Doctor Gildon. Kylas met them with a hard stare. While they were standing, and he still sitting on the cot, they were at least two feet taller than Kylas, but that didn’t make him feel intimidated.

 

Doctor Gildon approached the cot first, taking a few of his instruments out of his bag. He placed one around his neck and held the other in his hand. “The captain says you were hit in the ribs. Can I look at them?” the doctor asked, taking a slow step toward Kylas.

 

Kylas backed up on the cot. He couldn’t understand what the doctor wanted with him. Suddenly, he reached for his pocket and brought out two shiny pieces of equipment. One was small enough to put in his ear. The other was a curved piece, about as long as his pointer finger, which he placed on his neck to the left of his Adam’s apple.

_________________________________

Ok, so Kylas escapes the ship that night and heads across the desert. Phillip chases after him, but by the time he gets to him, it's too late to go back to the ship because of the Winds of Serian. Phillip and Kylas head to this huge cave where Kylas says will be safe. When they get there, and after the winds pass over them, this scene happens....

__________________________________

Without warning, Kylas felt something wrap around his foot, and a second later, he was under the water without a sound. Not hearing any splashing behind him, Phillip turned and saw that Kylas was missing.

 

His heart beat started to quicken. Without thinking twice about what he was doing, he reached for the knife at his side and dove under the water after Kylas. Though the current was strong, he was able to fight it long enough to reach something smooth. After a second of fear and reassurance, Phillip was sure that he had found Kylas’ arm. Quickly, he hauled him to the surface.

 

Kylas didn’t move, but whatever was holding him did, because in the next instant, Kylas’ body was back under the water and was moving rapidly down into the cave. Phillip lost his grip on his companion, but didn’t give up the chase. He pushed off of a nearby rock and swam his hardest to keep up with the monstrous threat.

 

As he swam, Phillip struck something with his foot. Immediately, a huge, slippery head rose up out of the water, its two long fangs ready to strike at a moment’s notice. At the same time, it heaved a limp body onto a rocky place with its long, split tail that looked a lot like the tail of a shark or whale, with a large fin on either side.

 

Phillip switched his gaze back up to the monster’s head. It was long, narrow, and pointed, with a jagged horn protruding from between its two evil-looking eyes.

 

Phillip readied himself for a strike, holding his knife steadily in his hand. He concentrated solely on the beast’s movements as it whirled around him, moving its head in a different direction than his tail to throw him off his guard.

 

When it finally stayed in one spot, it whipped its tail behind it and lashed out with a long, forked tongue. It caught Phillip by the arm and threw him back into the water, aiming for a large rock nearby. Then it let go and returned to its original position, hovering above its enemy.

 

Phillip got up, caught his breath, and returned to his poised position. He had always prided himself on the fact that he never got taken by the same trick twice. It would be no different now that he was fighting a cave serpent instead of a man.

 

Fairly soon, the creature whipped its tail around and snapped its head for another strike with its tongue. Only this time, when Phillip saw the tail move, he leaped to the side. When the tongue lashed out to grab him, he was at the side instead of in front. He took his knife in both hands and brought it down on the creature’s tongue, slicing the end of it off.

 

The creature drew its head back, enraged at having found a suitable foe. It lapped its bleeding tongue in the water a few times, turning the muddy water a deep red all around it.

 

Phillip took the tongue and heaved it aside. Though it was no bigger than his forearm, it would be a nuisance for the remainder of his battle, if there was any more. He hoped he was done.

 

But the serpent obviously wasn’t. It quickly regained its strength, lashing out with its fangs this time, trying to run Phillip through with one of them.

 

Phillip managed to stay out of the way of the first strike, ducking under water and swimming a short distance away. But he knew that it wouldn’t work a second time. He had to think quickly to stay alive. Looking around quickly for ideas, he suddenly spotted the huge rock that the serpent had tried to dash him against before. Hope rose inside of him as he moved behind the rock so that it was between him and the serpent.

 

With a hiss and a snap, the serpent stuck out, jaws opened wide to catch its prey. But it hit the rock full force instead of Phillip, who had ducked under water at just the right time. Its head swayed back and forth, anger in its eyes. It hissed again.

 

Phillip came up for air and realized that his plan had worked! He moved out from behind the rock to face his adversary. Shaken from its self-inflicted blow to the head, the serpent grew sluggish, and as he struck out with one last attack, Phillip slew it with a final stab to its neck.

 

With a raspy howl, the serpent fell to its death into the waters of the flooded caves. Adrenaline pumping wildly, Phillip drew his knife from the body and staggered back to the large rock that had been so prominent in the previous battle. 

It was just now that Phillip noticed that he was cold. The swirling water around him chilled his aching legs. Stiffly, he made his way through the water to where the serpent had unloaded the limp figure onto the rocks.

__________________________

That was the dreaded scene which can not be redone.... Now, do you think it's logical that after all that being dragged under swift-flowing water, not one of Kylas' communication/translation devices fell off? (not even the part that fit in his ear!)

You can see how this changes the next few scenes...  Without the little silver things, they can't talk to each other!!! So here's the original version vs. the new one.

_____________________________

Original -

As he approached, he saw that the limp figure was Kylas. Phillip climbed up onto the rocks next to Kylas and started to carefully pump the water out of the young rebel’s lungs. “C’mon, kid,” Phillip prodded as he continued. A moment later, Kylas started to cough up water. Phillip let out a sigh of relief.

 

When he could breath steadily again, Kylas took a deep breath and put a hand to his head.  His skin was clammy, and his lips had turned blue from the cold. He looked up at Phillip with a cockeyed grin.

 

“Nice job,” he coughed. Then added, “for a human.”

 

It wasn’t quite an apology, or a ‘thank you’. He wasn’t even sure it was a compliment, but he would accept it all the same.

 

Phillip bent down and wrapped an arm around Kylas’ upper body, helping him to his feet. “You think you can walk just yet? I think we’d better leave as soon as possible.”

 

Kylas eased himself to his feet. “Sure I can! I’m not completely helpless, just a little shaken up,” he said defiantly, and he took a faltering step forward. Between his weakness and the slippery rocks, he slipped to the ground. Phillip caught him just before he hit the rocks.

 

“I said I wasn’t helpless!” Kylas snapped half-heartedly, and he shoved the helping hand away.

 

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Phillip stood up straight, towering over the young rebel, and said, “Fine! I’ve got a ship to get back to. You’ll be up and running in no time if you’re as tough you seem to want me to think you are.” After having said his peace, Phillip turned and jumped into the water and began to walk away.

 

Kylas just lay still for a few moments, half-stunned by Phillip’s words, and partially because he was in a lot of pain. He began thinking about the length of the trip back to his men. With the injuries he had sustained, combined with his Anarian blood, the chances of him getting anywhere before starving looked slim.

 

“Wait,” he called at the retreating figure. Phillip turned around and waited for the rest. “You’d either starve or poison yourself in that jungle. If you’ll. . .” the word came slowly “help me out of here, I can show you how to survive out there.”

 

Phillip raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest. “Am I hearing an Anarian ask for help? I didn’t think you had it in you!” he taunted, a smirk slowly forming on his lips. 

“Shut up and get over here,” Kylas retorted.

_____________________________

_____________________________

New -

As he approached, he saw that the limp figure was Kylas. Phillip climbed up onto the rocks next to Kylas and started to carefully pump the water out of the young rebel’s lungs, taking extra care around the broken ribs. “C’mon, kid,” Phillip prodded as he continued. A moment later, Kylas started to cough up water. Phillip let out a sigh of relief.

 

When he could breath steadily again, Kylas took a deep breath and put a hand to his head.  His skin was clammy, and his lips had turned blue from the cold. He looked up at the tall figure bending over him.

 

With great determination and effort, Kylas softly spoke his approval and thanks to the human. But the reaction wasn’t quite what he was expecting. A few awkward moments went by. Phillip’s head was tipped, and his eyebrows had come together in almost a confused stare.

 

Trying to ignore the strange behavior, Kylas slowly sat up and prepared to stand. He placed his hand on a nearby rock for stability, then hauled himself to his feet. Everything reeled inside, and his surroundings spun ceaselessly. Kylas wobbled, then fell to the ground like a child learning to walk.

 

Phillip knelt at Kylas’ side and smiled. “You sure you want to try to walk yet?”

 

Kylas’ eyes widened. He felt at his neck and ear for the devices he had placed there earlier, but he felt nothing but bare skin. He rolled his head back and let out a deep sigh.

____________________________

Well, there it is.... what do you guys think? Did I make a good choice? I haven't deleated the other version yet..... it would kill me to just backspace that much work....

Well CF, with my vast experience with Anarians, I don't know how much help I can give, but would it have been easier to just make the translating device more of a permanant kind of thing? You know, something implanted in the skin or something (do Anarians have skin? :P ) Unless you have a plan to have a way for Phillip and Kylas to regain communication skills, this could be a very difficult story to write if your main characters are unable to communicate with each other. I liked the banter between the two guys in your first version, it showed what kind of friendship they had developed.

Anyway, my 2 cents, what what it's worth. :)

Thanks for the feedback, DD! I guess I should have explained it better.... Kylas is exactly like a human, except for a few *ahem* unnatural abilities.

If I went on withot communication, it would only be until Kylas and Phillip met up with Kylas' rebel followers. (then they would regain the Anarian technology)
But I like the idea of having an "imbedded" sort of device that would stick, because then I could keep the scene I posted earlier. :) (the one where Phillip sees his ship again)
Hmmmmmm..... let me see what I can cook up...

Hey, CF! Agh, I know how frustrating those little dead ends can be...I've been working on a scifi/fantasy story (not for book month) forever, and I keep having issues like that crop up. :P Looks like the wheels have started turning, though! Good luck with the rest of book month! I'm interested to see what you come up with! :)